...and another thing!

I can't just let it go at that. Two other things have happened recently that have also led to my "waking" up. My friend Linda gave me a very direct and blunt "talking to." She later felt bad about it but honestly it was exactly what I needed. Thank you Linda! - basically she told me to grow up and get my head out of the sand and be the strong woman that I am, and to readjust my thinking in a couple of ways/areas. MAN - I appreciate honesty.

The other thing is the quick-gesture drawing class I've been taking with my friend Ron Lemen at Studio 2nd Street. I always feel like a disruption, or like a big heavy clunky clod in his class- it's always one or the other. Totally out of place and out of sync. But the week before last, I brought in a big drawing pad (24 X 36) and have been working at an easel instead of the 18 x 24's or smaller and working from the drawing bench like the rest of the class. Again I felt like the "problem child" in the class - but surprisingly a little less so by the end of the first class, and even a little less the 2nd class. I found myself at times still trying to "obey the rules" and do exactly what Ron was instructing the rest of the class. Why- why- why do I feel like I need someone to give me permission to do things! That is just so stupid usually - but in Ron's class I just don't want to be the problem/disruption/clod that I have been feeling like and I don't want to be disrespectful in any way.

NOTE: Ron is awesome and I have tremendous respect for him. Ron does NOT make me feel this way - I do it to myself! He encourages me. It was his idea to get the big paper and work larger in the first place.

So anyway - I feel like I got even more "permission" in yesterdays class. I find it interesting that the more "different" I get from the rest of the class in certain ways the less awkward and clunky I am feeling. The more "out of place and out of sync" the more comfortable and in sync I feel. Weird in a way. I don't think I am saying EXACTLY what it is I am trying to say - but it is close and I will fix it later if I can. I am actually looking forward to practicing with the DVR at home and going to class next week - bummed it's the last class.

Figuring Things Out

I cannot believe my last blog entry was in January of this year! I have been a busy little bee! I am not going to list all of my activities for this period but I will say that I have gone to the edge of giving up, quitting art again... and back. Back to what? Not sure, a head strong determination - maybe. Something like that.
I have figured out a few things. I am not the person I was when I quit art the last time - that 12 year period from around 1992 to 2004. I am not counting the tole painting, decorative art, faux finishing or craft stuff I did during that period as art. Maybe it was and maybe it wasn't - don't know, don't care, not countin' it.

I was driving down the road with the radio on when I heard someone say something on the radio and this thing just sort of smacked me. Don't know who it was or even what they said exactly but a light went on and I discovered a fundamental conflict in my head- which may be the driving force behind my returning to my blog. The conflict to which I refer is who am I painting for and why?

[While I am at it - let me insert a couple of reminders to myself, you can just ignore this part :
"see what I have to say"
"don't talk - not my job"
"mensa-intellect-heart-soul-spirit connection"
"falling from grace vs falling from intelligence"]

Ok - back to the question at hand - the who am I painting for and why conflict?

Painting for myself vs painting to sell
Painting for myself vs painting for God
my "voice" vs "His voice" vs some other voice
painting to sell for money/income vs painting to sell for ego/pride/glory

I haven't figured it out yet but it has to do with these issues and God. As a believer - follower of Jesus - Gods child - heavens ambassador on earth - a part of His body on earth... what the heck am I thinking? what the heck am I doing?

The fundamental conflict that I am referring to is the self vs others issue wrapped up in being a Christian. THe world says "self", the Bible says "others." So for example if I am supposed to be Gods hands on earth - then I should be allowing the Holy Spirit to paint through me and who does HE paint for? Certainly not for self - and yet there is no separating from self. (Separating from self is mental illness isn't it? and I am pretty sure that is not where I want to go ) - and "He came that our joy may be complete" so self is not entirely out of the picture. So it becomes a "we" thing. So what do "we" paint and who do "we" paint for. If one of my assignments and tasks on earth is to be an artist - why? I don't believe that God is pleased with my paintings...He would be pleased with my obedience to the talents and gifts that He has put in me. He is pleased in the doing. So if I am here to serve others, then I paint for others. If I am to put others first - then what others want is preeminent over what I want. I don't think this is an either/or situation - it's not a zero sum game. I think this is a both/and issue. I have been making it zero-sum in my head. Me or them. And I haven't really liked either one, me or them.

It seems to me that "painting to please others" is such an offensive and politically incorrect thing to do and say. It just sounds horrible and abrasive and repugnant. Ewww. However it seems to be totally acceptable and even necessary for commercial work, but not for the fine artist, which is what I am striving to be. I suspect that I have tried to build a wall dividing the two aspects, (self/others) and shooting for painting for myself first, just like I think I am supposed to be doing according to ...who? "Everyone" -(how angry I used to get at the kids when they would use the "everyone" excuse for wanting or doing something). Well who the heck is that "everyone" that rears it's ugly head and makes me into a dumb blind follower. They are the "real artists" ... oh brother.
How did I ever let things get here???

I am scrambling all over the place looking at others peoples art trying to figure out what and how and why I want to paint, and who I want to paint like and have come to the conclusion it is mostly avoidance behavior! However I do enjoy looking at and appreciating other peoples art and what they are doing. But I need to paint like me - and I don't even know what that is yet - maybe it will be ugly maybe it will be cool - who knows? I have to get ON that road before I can find out what is down it.

I am avoiding myself. I am avoiding God's call - yes His call. Really. As small and insignificant as it may be - it is His call for me. Oh, I want to to be so much more important and significant than just being a lowly artist. Really, I'd much rather be a missionary or preacher or speaker reaching thousands and millions with encouragement and joy and introducing them to Jesus and His acceptance and love. Yep - I'd much rather be a Billy Graham or Joyce Meyer. But alas I am not and never will be - but maybe, just maybe in my life I can paint something that will touch a few people and bring them joy or something good.

I should be painting however it comes out of me! I just need to be who I am (DUH!) with God's help. DUH -DUH -DUH!!!!! I have known this all along - I think I have just been running from it - because I am afraid. ARGH - I have been letting FEAR run my life - and turning a deaf ear and a blind eye to it all along. A demonic evil circle - a catch 22 - I am afraid of the fear that I am afraid of which I fear that I am afraid of --- and on and on it goes.


Recently I read a quote that goes something like "Before you stop to help someone stuck in the mud, first check to make sure they are not wallowing in it." Good advice I'd say. I have been wallowing- wallowing- wallowing.
OK - I think I am done now.
So the answer is : I am painting for myself AND others, because that is what God has given me to do, and because it brings me more joy than not, and I feel like it pleases God when I paint and draw -( even though it doesn't always please me). Making art IS my service to others - and I can't serve others by ONLY trying to please me - I can be totally unpleasable (is that a word?) - so I might as well paint for others BUT not excluding myself. Not "either/or" but "both/and."

one final DUH!

Ed Valentine

I had the good fortune to finally meet Ed Valentine. Ed is a prof of art at Ohio State University, and is married to my brother-in-law's sister. I have admired my brother-in-law's collection of Ed's work for a very long time and have often wondered what Ed was like. I find his work intriguing and baffling as well as very compelling. It was wonderful to get to visit with him for a very short time - but in that short time I feel I at least got a little glimpse into what his work is about, and now I like it even more! Ed recently had the art museum in Prague purchase some of his work for their permanent collection. Here are a few photos from his web site and also my brother-in-law's collection. WWW.EDVALENTINEART.COM
Be sure to go check out his web site. Also on the links page is "Salute to the Rough Guys" - go check that out too.

Pondering Posters, Commercial Work and Giclee's

I see that I have said that certain works look commercial - like posters, several times now. I keep thinking about that. If there had been printing technology in Rembrandt or Da Vinci's time and someone had made posters of their paintings - would I view that as commercial? I don't think so ..... but I am not sure. Actually now that I think about it - I am not enjoying Da Vinci so much as of late because of all the commercial aspects of the recent Da Vinci Code craze. I see his work plastered everywhere and it makes me tired of it - for me it takes the uniqueness and value of it and just trashes it. What is it that I see in a work of art that makes me see "poster" instead of "art" - ??? and why? I certainly don't think posters and art are mutually exclusive and yet there is something in my head that make a separation or differentiation. Is it because I was developing at the Peter Maxx, Robert Motherwell and rock star poster craze and I am forever affect by that? For the record I detest the whole giclee thing! I understand the desire of an artist to make a living and sell their work - but making giclee prints just seems to be cheapening the whole art world in my opinion. If the giclee printing process is used as a tool in creating work - in my mind that is probably OK, but to just crank out cheap copy after cheap copy - I don't care how good they look - just diminishes the value. And maybe the worst possible offense is to crank out a bunch of cheap giclees - make a few "hand painted" alterations and then call it original or one of a kind. To me that is absolute fraud and should be prosecuted immediately. And yes I am referring to the so called "St Victor" and anyone else that tries to sham people that way! Shame on them.

Ludmilla Perec

Yet another unknown - at least to me. Have you heard of her? I found her on the Internet and really liked what I saw.



I really do enjoy a nice still life now and then - I am not a huge fan of flowers but on occasion I see one that just calls to me - this is one of them. Her work reminds me of Gauguin - (I will have to look up that spelling - I can never get it right) - I think it is the colors and shapes. By now I bet you could have guessed that Gauguin is one of my favorite artists. The house I painted in McKinney was totally based on the colors in 2 of his paintings. I found a blr about the artist on Russianart.com ( I think - more work can be seen at artlondon.com too) Here is the quote: Ludmilla Perec was born in 1959 in Uzbekistan. Graduated from the State University of Latvia with a degree in theoretical astrophysics. She learned the professional drawing in the studios of artists V.Karkunov and A. Bykov. In 1993 Ludmila graduated from Riga Academy of Arts. Since 1988 she has exhibited her works together with the artists group "Free Art" as well as with other Latvian artists' associations. She has also worked as a teacher. Right now her art works can be found in private collections in USA, France, Italy, Germany, Norway as well as in collections of Norton Dodge, Zimmaly Museum and Jersey City.

Fressinier

Here are some paintings that remind me of Gustav Klimpt.




I am not sure why I like them - they are very "girly" which I normally do not like - in fact they are overwhelmingly feminine - NOT my thing at all and yet I do like them.
I know nothing about this artist - it's on my list of things to research. They are single figures, abtract qualities, I do enjoy the texture and pattern and the decorative quality, they seem quite commercial, like posters. They also seem to me to be shallow, I think I would tire of them quickly - in fact I am almost tired of them already! Here is a blurb about the artist I got from Schaffer Gallery: Francois Fressinier was born August 4, 1968 in Cognac, France. His father, a photographer and artist, had a passion for the old masters and guided Francois into the exploration and creation of figurative and symbolic art. Francois studied fine art at Ecole Brassart in Tours, France. Over the last decade Francois has perfected his artistic style of neoclassicism, and has done countless hours of research and study of the old masters techniques. Though accomplished at various styles of art, his favorite subject matter finds itself in the ethereal romantic presence of sensuous women. Many of his paintings combine ideas taken from his heritage, European history, and landscape. It is evident in his work that he has been significantly influenced by artists like Da Vinci, Titian, and other Masters of the Renaissance.

Zhaoming Wu

I adore this mans work . I have his book of painting and a book of his drawings. What I see is a figure in space with dramatic lighting. The atmosphere Wu creates with light and color is so appealing to me. I so admire the way he uses lighting. I put the painting of the Girl With Scarf that I had tried to do a little study from - just so you could see. Go Google Zhaoming Wu - he has a website. Beautiful work. Common threads? big simple shapes, one figure in space seems to be theme - more than crowds or multiple figures - the atmosphere and use of space, colorful but in a quieter way than say Burridge or Hessam. Drama. I like the way he handles the abstract qualities of the fabrics.

Bob Burridge

Here is one of my most favorite images ever! It's called "A Little Bird Told ME" I LOVE it!!! While I like the color it is not my favorite - but I LOVE birds - I wish I would have taken more photos of all of our pet birds in the past. I just love this - I love words and lettering in art, ever since I first saw and fell in love with Jim Dine's work, and Motherwell and some of those guys. I don't think the words are necessary on this piece, in fact I think I might like this one even better without the words - nevertheless I love this piece - I am excited to be taking some workshopes with Bob in 2007. You can go to Bob's website and see tons of his wonderful art - he conveys a sense of life and joy in his work that I aspire to.

Cynthia Packard

Here's another artist I don't really know anything about and have never seen her work in person. I find a lot of these artists while searching the web for other stuff - . So hmmmm - what is it that I like about her work? The textural thick paint, semi-abstract figures, the color and atmosperic quality - I do like her still life work too. While I am not a big fan of pink - I like the way she uses it.

Abrishami Hessam

This is an artist I just discovered - I have never seen his work in person - not yet anyway, and I don't really know too much about him. I do not like the roly-poly handling of the figures, or the romantic-love subject matter of a lot of the work I have seen so far. However - I do like the shapes, semi-abstract figures in an environment, the color - although it borders on being too pure and bright and "circus-like," for me - but for now I am attracted to his work. I sort of like the heads- well I like aspects of it - the faces are maybe a little too simplified for me. His work seems very commercial and I do think he does a lot in the print market. Here is a blurb I found: "HESSAM ABRISHAMI — "Dynamic composition, powerful expression and vibrant colors along with great imagination." A recent description of the paintings of Persian born artist Hessam Abrishami. He creates works of amazing depth and dimension that intrigue and disarm the viewer.

Hessam paints passionately, influenced by his dramatic life experience and the world is responding enthusiastically! Hessam has exhibited throughout Europe, Asia and North America. The French press has called his paintings "a statement in the fluidity of human figures . . . with tension between each figure, a kinship that provokes the viewer to seek reasons for such a relationship".

It is no wonder that his works have been described as "taking the onlooker to a realm of suggestion and mystical beauty . . . where everything is alive with a sense of everlasting fluid motion." In doing so, "Hessam is expanding his horizons and stimulating the mind as well as charming the eyes of the beholder."

Says Hessam, "I didn’t set out to use bright colors, they just came out. This is important, I don’t give any direction to my paintings. Any colors I use just come from my feelings.”
And another quote: "The viewer can see also the strong influence of Matisse in Hessam’s work by the emotional expression through the use of color and design and “is essential to his career” claims the artist. “I don’t choose my colors, they choose me” … “I set out to paint with feeling, an emotion, or theme of love or parting, or music, or loneliness”, he states Hessam’s works are greatly influenced by his dramatic life experiences and the warm acceptance he has received from the world at large.

Hessam’s desire and goal with any work is to paint from a “pure flow of energies” not from a preconceived consciousness, and his work demonstrates this repeatedly. The common theme that threads Hessam’s paintings is celebration in relating. His abstract figures grab the viewer with movement and color and always expressing relationships – the lovers, friends, family, music, food and drink. Hessam views the female figure as mysterious and identifies her with life, death, power, continuity of God, and above all art and music.

His use of musical instruments in his paintings is about emotional expression. “Music is about feeling, pure feelings without words ….. It’s about movement and flux, in other words, the dynamic of being and the way to truth.” Hessam says.

Hessam has exhibited his art in Europe, Asia, and North America, where his one-man shows have grown in popularity in the public eye. His talented works have been colorfully illustrated in various Ivy League University textbooks nationwide."

My Plan and Linda Christensen

Here is my plan for the next few posts. I will be posting samples of art by some of my favorite artists. The goal is to look at them and figure out what is the common thread in them - I already know that I like big simple shapes, semi-abstract figurative work and just recently figured out that I like a figure in a space - preferable an atmospheric space of some find - that just flat surface shapes is not enough. I figured this out in the experimental water media class I was taking with Claire-Lise. A lot of that work is more about texture, pattern and the flat surface - I found myself always struggling and working to get a sense of depth and space - a subject in an environment. Color will be another common thread I am sure - but what else? - when you see a pattern or thread be sure to email me - help me figure this out.
Introducing: LINDA CHRISTENSEN Right now Linda Christensen is my most favorite artist. By the way - you can Google any of these artists to see more of their work - I am just putting a few samples up. Her work is very textural in person. I love her use of color, space, shape -everything - I love everything about her work.

Here are some more of my recent artistic endeavors. I really need to learn to finish stuff. The charcoal drawing of the Gypsy by Firelight is a 3 1/2 hour drawing - it is nearly finished, it needs a few tweaks here and there. The painting of the girl is a small study after Zhaou Ming Wu - one of my favorite artists and of course the last one is a study after Rembrandt - nothing is finished, never is - or hardly ever is. The paintings are oil on canvas boards, the charcoal is on Rives BFK paper.

A Big Disappointment

Brittany still has not gotten her mail art. I am very bummed about this because I really liked the painting. Here is another picture of it - bigger this time. So sad....scroll down to see the envelope and back of the piece if you haven't already seen it.