Watcher 6" x 8" Acrylic/Collage

It's time to play catch up. I have a number of almost finished pieces. Some have been done in conjunction with my Experimental Water Media class. I am trying to get these done and up on the blog and eventually over to eBay. I really like this little piece. It is one of those rare times that it just came together as if it knew what it was supposed to be and required very little effort on my part. In fact - this is one of my favorites. It is pretty dark piece. Maybe I will not sell this piece - I really like it and so does Rick. We will see...

"It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood..

..a beautiful day in the beauty-wood, would you be mine? could you be mine? Won't you be my neighbor?" Mr. Rogers
Compare this beautiful morning to the previous days. That's some smoke off in the distance to the north of us - but it's a clear sunrise and blue sky for us. beautiful.

Smokin'

Yesterday morning Nathalie went down to the beach and shot these pictures of the smoke spreading over the ocean. By now you probably have seen all of the satellite photos of the smoke too.

Fires 10:30 AM

Well - there goes the last of the blue sky. The wind was shifting around like crazy. The hazy sun was taken from the front porch, then I walked out to the street and shot the last of the blue sky disappearing over our house. They had evacuated San Elijo Hill which I think we were thought to be a part of - except we aren't part of San Elijo Hills. Not that the fire is going to pay attention to a technicality like that - but we just didn't really feel very threatened. We were ready to go at any minute - but it just seemed like the wind had shifted and was blowing it all a bit south of us. As it turned out - we were, and are, just fine. Very smokey and stinky, but as of now no visible orange glow any where near us. I wonder if we will sleep tonight.

Fires 8:24 AM

This was 8:24 Am today. This is taken standing on our front porch. I did not sleep at all last night because of the smoke and the wind. The wind was unbelieveable. The at about 4:30 AM we were startled by the doorbell ringing. It was the neighbor informing us that we needed to turn the news on and evacuate. One neighbor said the fire was about 1 mile away, Rick said 2 or 3. either way it seemed close enough! So we hurried around and packed the car with the dog stuff and art supplies, and waited.

Got My Mail Art

I recieved my mail art! It is just fun to do this. I won't say who it is from just yet...

Mail Art Project

To the left is the front and back of the card, and below is the front and back of the envelope. I was aiming for cheerful, fun and sort of light hearted.

I attend a very fun class on Thursdays called Experimental Water Media. Each session we do a little mail art project, we each draw a name and make a piece of mail art, send to the recipient - without signing it. At one of the last classes, every one brings in the mail art they got and we all try to guess who made it. It is a fun thing to do - I enjoy mail art anyway but never take the time to do any - this sort of forces me to. Isn't that goofy? You shouldn't have to be forced to do what you enjoy doing anyway! So this is my little project. I did it on a postcard and envelope from JAL airlines, but I also did it in the garage in the almost-dark and at night. So not being able to really see what I was doing I inadvertently collaged over the Japanese writing and the interesting stuff that I wanted to save - and the colors on the front and back don't quite match! Hahahah - I still like it and it was fun. The woman I sent it to doesn't know me at all, so she won't know who it is from - but the rest of the class will guess it's from me right away!

Cedar Wax WIng

Hey - look at this, 2 posts in 1 day! I finished the Cedar Wax Wing (4" x 6" - oil on canvas) and I am only moderately happy. The canvas was too rough for the kind of detail I wanted, I am only moderately satisfied with it. Another on headed for eBay...one of these days.

Well golly - another week gone by...

Here it is Wednesday again. My daily commitment isn't going so well yet - but it will. I'm already doing better than the past where I went how many months with out blogging? and here it is once a week. Oh what an improvement - and heading toward once a day too.

I have been busy and not just slacking! I went up to visit Rica - on the train. That was great, but I was disappointed in the Expo. It was very small and sold out of a ton of stuff - and I got there early afternoon on the first day. I did notice as we were about to leave that many of the vendors were getting fresh stock for their booths. All of the vendors were commenting about how jammed and busy they were in the morning and most of them looked beat and exhausted. They said they were stunned at the number of people when they opened. I am glad I wasn't there bright and early. The prices were good, mostly 40-60% off, but really I usually do that well on the Internet. It was fun, I am glad I went. I won't do it again unless there is a workshop that I want to attend also - not worth it just for the shopping. But I WILL take the train again - that was great.

Here is what else I have accomplished in spite of 4 days of migraine headache: Watched Casey Baugh "Quick Studies" DVD two and a half times. Rick and I finished putting the laminate floor down in my studio, Rica's old bedroom with a north facing window. Made and installed ledges for paintings to sit on to dry. Finished "Bird on a Stick." Set up and painted "Wine and Egg." Got them both photographed - although not well - for the web. Have been moving my downstairs and scattered-thru-the-house art supplies and projects around. The studio upstairs will be for oils. The library will revert to a library/reading room, the family room and kitchen will revert to their original purposes and the garage will remain studio space for Acrylics, really large and experimental artwork. I still have Nathalie's old bedroom too - I have some ideas for that space too = maybe eventually get out of the garage/studio, it is so much nice and more comfortable upstairs. So enough for now - I want to go paint!

Wine and Egg 1: This is my first attempt at glass and glass reflections. I am fairly happy with it - I really enjoyed the challenge and I am going to paint it again while I still have it set up.

Bird on a Stick: I am happier with this now. The shadows are much better now I think -

Geeesh!

Well, it's Wednesday and where's the Tuesday post? Uhhh... Man - my goal of posting every day for just three days is already out the window! I have been running around like crazy - getting other things done, so I guess it's not a total loss. But - really 3 days? Seems like anybody could do that! Apparently not. Tomorrow I leave for L. A. - taking the train, so for sure I won't post until next Monday - at which time I will set a NEW goal and try it out. I did finish Bird on a Stick and worked a bit on The Cedar Waxwing bird I am doing - but no time to photograph them yet. I am off to the dentist and to get a few items for my little trip. Talk at ya next week -

Explanation of a Negative Thing

I did this little 4"x6" Sparrow on Saturday (10-6-2007) Oil on Gallery Wrapped canvas - sides are painted.



Well, here it is - Monday. My goal is to post every day this week, with a new painting today through Wednesday. Thursday the plan is to hop on the train and head up to L.A. to visit Rica and go to the Art Material and Methods Expo in Pasadena. OK - so that really is only a 3 day goal - I ought to be able to do that...you would think so anyway. Oh yeah - I also want to start a 4' x 5' painting for Ricks office this week.


Now then, I have come to realize that I have a communication issue - I guess it's an issue. I don't want to call it a problem because for me it is not a problem - but it seems to be for others...and now that I think about it, maybe it is my problem too. I guess if I say something and people don't understand it the way I meant it then it is my problem. But only if I care that people get it - right?

Rick just says I am really, really different than most people. Actually I have been told that my entire life. I don't get it - usually.

In one of my recent posts I talked about feeling heavy and clunky and out of sync in my drawing class. People who have read that seem to think I was being negative or pessimistic or feeling bad about that, or bad about myself. Oddly enough, I did not see it that way at all, and didn't mean it to be understood that way. Uncomfortable, yes. Unpleasant feeling, yes. Negative, no. It was meant to be an expression of a feeling, not necessarily a truth. Just because I felt that way doesn't mean I am that way or see myself as being that. I actually think I am pretty much OK, and pretty cool, and I like me - most of the time actually.

To me, those feelings and expressing them are a neutral thing in a way. Just as in dark and light. The dark defines and describes the light, but that doesn't make the dark inherently bad. It is a necessary thing in order to have the light. Evil is necessary for Good, that is why we have the Bible - that is why God gave Moses the 10 commandments. To be able to discern one from the other, good from bad, right from wrong, perfection from imperfection, etc. Both are necessary for the other to exist, or at least for us to understand or perceive it. I suppose it could actually exist but how would we know if there was no comparator?

Therefore I could never grow or learn or improve if I did not experience unpleasantness and discomfort, at least to some degree. Where would my motivation be to move at all? I actually almost relish certain kinds of discomfort because I instinctively know it's counterbalance is on it's way, and I look forward to it.

There is nothing I love more in life than learning and growing and trying new things - well, most new things. I have grown out of the physical risk-taking stuff - I have experienced enough hurts and injury to know that feeling well, whole and healthy is MUCH better, so I will leave the motorcycles and skydiving and bungee jumping to those who are still learning those things. But give me almost any other challenge...especially a puzzle or an idea and it's game on!

On the Easel Right Now - Almost Finished

Bird on a Stick
6" x 12"
Oil on gallery wrapped canvas









Needs a little more work - then off to eBay it goes.

Just Off The Easel -

Empty Vessel
6" x 8"
Oil on Gallery Wrapped Canvas



Soon to go on eBay!

...and another thing!

I can't just let it go at that. Two other things have happened recently that have also led to my "waking" up. My friend Linda gave me a very direct and blunt "talking to." She later felt bad about it but honestly it was exactly what I needed. Thank you Linda! - basically she told me to grow up and get my head out of the sand and be the strong woman that I am, and to readjust my thinking in a couple of ways/areas. MAN - I appreciate honesty.

The other thing is the quick-gesture drawing class I've been taking with my friend Ron Lemen at Studio 2nd Street. I always feel like a disruption, or like a big heavy clunky clod in his class- it's always one or the other. Totally out of place and out of sync. But the week before last, I brought in a big drawing pad (24 X 36) and have been working at an easel instead of the 18 x 24's or smaller and working from the drawing bench like the rest of the class. Again I felt like the "problem child" in the class - but surprisingly a little less so by the end of the first class, and even a little less the 2nd class. I found myself at times still trying to "obey the rules" and do exactly what Ron was instructing the rest of the class. Why- why- why do I feel like I need someone to give me permission to do things! That is just so stupid usually - but in Ron's class I just don't want to be the problem/disruption/clod that I have been feeling like and I don't want to be disrespectful in any way.

NOTE: Ron is awesome and I have tremendous respect for him. Ron does NOT make me feel this way - I do it to myself! He encourages me. It was his idea to get the big paper and work larger in the first place.

So anyway - I feel like I got even more "permission" in yesterdays class. I find it interesting that the more "different" I get from the rest of the class in certain ways the less awkward and clunky I am feeling. The more "out of place and out of sync" the more comfortable and in sync I feel. Weird in a way. I don't think I am saying EXACTLY what it is I am trying to say - but it is close and I will fix it later if I can. I am actually looking forward to practicing with the DVR at home and going to class next week - bummed it's the last class.

Figuring Things Out

I cannot believe my last blog entry was in January of this year! I have been a busy little bee! I am not going to list all of my activities for this period but I will say that I have gone to the edge of giving up, quitting art again... and back. Back to what? Not sure, a head strong determination - maybe. Something like that.
I have figured out a few things. I am not the person I was when I quit art the last time - that 12 year period from around 1992 to 2004. I am not counting the tole painting, decorative art, faux finishing or craft stuff I did during that period as art. Maybe it was and maybe it wasn't - don't know, don't care, not countin' it.

I was driving down the road with the radio on when I heard someone say something on the radio and this thing just sort of smacked me. Don't know who it was or even what they said exactly but a light went on and I discovered a fundamental conflict in my head- which may be the driving force behind my returning to my blog. The conflict to which I refer is who am I painting for and why?

[While I am at it - let me insert a couple of reminders to myself, you can just ignore this part :
"see what I have to say"
"don't talk - not my job"
"mensa-intellect-heart-soul-spirit connection"
"falling from grace vs falling from intelligence"]

Ok - back to the question at hand - the who am I painting for and why conflict?

Painting for myself vs painting to sell
Painting for myself vs painting for God
my "voice" vs "His voice" vs some other voice
painting to sell for money/income vs painting to sell for ego/pride/glory

I haven't figured it out yet but it has to do with these issues and God. As a believer - follower of Jesus - Gods child - heavens ambassador on earth - a part of His body on earth... what the heck am I thinking? what the heck am I doing?

The fundamental conflict that I am referring to is the self vs others issue wrapped up in being a Christian. THe world says "self", the Bible says "others." So for example if I am supposed to be Gods hands on earth - then I should be allowing the Holy Spirit to paint through me and who does HE paint for? Certainly not for self - and yet there is no separating from self. (Separating from self is mental illness isn't it? and I am pretty sure that is not where I want to go ) - and "He came that our joy may be complete" so self is not entirely out of the picture. So it becomes a "we" thing. So what do "we" paint and who do "we" paint for. If one of my assignments and tasks on earth is to be an artist - why? I don't believe that God is pleased with my paintings...He would be pleased with my obedience to the talents and gifts that He has put in me. He is pleased in the doing. So if I am here to serve others, then I paint for others. If I am to put others first - then what others want is preeminent over what I want. I don't think this is an either/or situation - it's not a zero sum game. I think this is a both/and issue. I have been making it zero-sum in my head. Me or them. And I haven't really liked either one, me or them.

It seems to me that "painting to please others" is such an offensive and politically incorrect thing to do and say. It just sounds horrible and abrasive and repugnant. Ewww. However it seems to be totally acceptable and even necessary for commercial work, but not for the fine artist, which is what I am striving to be. I suspect that I have tried to build a wall dividing the two aspects, (self/others) and shooting for painting for myself first, just like I think I am supposed to be doing according to ...who? "Everyone" -(how angry I used to get at the kids when they would use the "everyone" excuse for wanting or doing something). Well who the heck is that "everyone" that rears it's ugly head and makes me into a dumb blind follower. They are the "real artists" ... oh brother.
How did I ever let things get here???

I am scrambling all over the place looking at others peoples art trying to figure out what and how and why I want to paint, and who I want to paint like and have come to the conclusion it is mostly avoidance behavior! However I do enjoy looking at and appreciating other peoples art and what they are doing. But I need to paint like me - and I don't even know what that is yet - maybe it will be ugly maybe it will be cool - who knows? I have to get ON that road before I can find out what is down it.

I am avoiding myself. I am avoiding God's call - yes His call. Really. As small and insignificant as it may be - it is His call for me. Oh, I want to to be so much more important and significant than just being a lowly artist. Really, I'd much rather be a missionary or preacher or speaker reaching thousands and millions with encouragement and joy and introducing them to Jesus and His acceptance and love. Yep - I'd much rather be a Billy Graham or Joyce Meyer. But alas I am not and never will be - but maybe, just maybe in my life I can paint something that will touch a few people and bring them joy or something good.

I should be painting however it comes out of me! I just need to be who I am (DUH!) with God's help. DUH -DUH -DUH!!!!! I have known this all along - I think I have just been running from it - because I am afraid. ARGH - I have been letting FEAR run my life - and turning a deaf ear and a blind eye to it all along. A demonic evil circle - a catch 22 - I am afraid of the fear that I am afraid of which I fear that I am afraid of --- and on and on it goes.


Recently I read a quote that goes something like "Before you stop to help someone stuck in the mud, first check to make sure they are not wallowing in it." Good advice I'd say. I have been wallowing- wallowing- wallowing.
OK - I think I am done now.
So the answer is : I am painting for myself AND others, because that is what God has given me to do, and because it brings me more joy than not, and I feel like it pleases God when I paint and draw -( even though it doesn't always please me). Making art IS my service to others - and I can't serve others by ONLY trying to please me - I can be totally unpleasable (is that a word?) - so I might as well paint for others BUT not excluding myself. Not "either/or" but "both/and."

one final DUH!

Ed Valentine

I had the good fortune to finally meet Ed Valentine. Ed is a prof of art at Ohio State University, and is married to my brother-in-law's sister. I have admired my brother-in-law's collection of Ed's work for a very long time and have often wondered what Ed was like. I find his work intriguing and baffling as well as very compelling. It was wonderful to get to visit with him for a very short time - but in that short time I feel I at least got a little glimpse into what his work is about, and now I like it even more! Ed recently had the art museum in Prague purchase some of his work for their permanent collection. Here are a few photos from his web site and also my brother-in-law's collection. WWW.EDVALENTINEART.COM
Be sure to go check out his web site. Also on the links page is "Salute to the Rough Guys" - go check that out too.

Pondering Posters, Commercial Work and Giclee's

I see that I have said that certain works look commercial - like posters, several times now. I keep thinking about that. If there had been printing technology in Rembrandt or Da Vinci's time and someone had made posters of their paintings - would I view that as commercial? I don't think so ..... but I am not sure. Actually now that I think about it - I am not enjoying Da Vinci so much as of late because of all the commercial aspects of the recent Da Vinci Code craze. I see his work plastered everywhere and it makes me tired of it - for me it takes the uniqueness and value of it and just trashes it. What is it that I see in a work of art that makes me see "poster" instead of "art" - ??? and why? I certainly don't think posters and art are mutually exclusive and yet there is something in my head that make a separation or differentiation. Is it because I was developing at the Peter Maxx, Robert Motherwell and rock star poster craze and I am forever affect by that? For the record I detest the whole giclee thing! I understand the desire of an artist to make a living and sell their work - but making giclee prints just seems to be cheapening the whole art world in my opinion. If the giclee printing process is used as a tool in creating work - in my mind that is probably OK, but to just crank out cheap copy after cheap copy - I don't care how good they look - just diminishes the value. And maybe the worst possible offense is to crank out a bunch of cheap giclees - make a few "hand painted" alterations and then call it original or one of a kind. To me that is absolute fraud and should be prosecuted immediately. And yes I am referring to the so called "St Victor" and anyone else that tries to sham people that way! Shame on them.

Ludmilla Perec

Yet another unknown - at least to me. Have you heard of her? I found her on the Internet and really liked what I saw.



I really do enjoy a nice still life now and then - I am not a huge fan of flowers but on occasion I see one that just calls to me - this is one of them. Her work reminds me of Gauguin - (I will have to look up that spelling - I can never get it right) - I think it is the colors and shapes. By now I bet you could have guessed that Gauguin is one of my favorite artists. The house I painted in McKinney was totally based on the colors in 2 of his paintings. I found a blr about the artist on Russianart.com ( I think - more work can be seen at artlondon.com too) Here is the quote: Ludmilla Perec was born in 1959 in Uzbekistan. Graduated from the State University of Latvia with a degree in theoretical astrophysics. She learned the professional drawing in the studios of artists V.Karkunov and A. Bykov. In 1993 Ludmila graduated from Riga Academy of Arts. Since 1988 she has exhibited her works together with the artists group "Free Art" as well as with other Latvian artists' associations. She has also worked as a teacher. Right now her art works can be found in private collections in USA, France, Italy, Germany, Norway as well as in collections of Norton Dodge, Zimmaly Museum and Jersey City.

Fressinier

Here are some paintings that remind me of Gustav Klimpt.




I am not sure why I like them - they are very "girly" which I normally do not like - in fact they are overwhelmingly feminine - NOT my thing at all and yet I do like them.
I know nothing about this artist - it's on my list of things to research. They are single figures, abtract qualities, I do enjoy the texture and pattern and the decorative quality, they seem quite commercial, like posters. They also seem to me to be shallow, I think I would tire of them quickly - in fact I am almost tired of them already! Here is a blurb about the artist I got from Schaffer Gallery: Francois Fressinier was born August 4, 1968 in Cognac, France. His father, a photographer and artist, had a passion for the old masters and guided Francois into the exploration and creation of figurative and symbolic art. Francois studied fine art at Ecole Brassart in Tours, France. Over the last decade Francois has perfected his artistic style of neoclassicism, and has done countless hours of research and study of the old masters techniques. Though accomplished at various styles of art, his favorite subject matter finds itself in the ethereal romantic presence of sensuous women. Many of his paintings combine ideas taken from his heritage, European history, and landscape. It is evident in his work that he has been significantly influenced by artists like Da Vinci, Titian, and other Masters of the Renaissance.

Zhaoming Wu

I adore this mans work . I have his book of painting and a book of his drawings. What I see is a figure in space with dramatic lighting. The atmosphere Wu creates with light and color is so appealing to me. I so admire the way he uses lighting. I put the painting of the Girl With Scarf that I had tried to do a little study from - just so you could see. Go Google Zhaoming Wu - he has a website. Beautiful work. Common threads? big simple shapes, one figure in space seems to be theme - more than crowds or multiple figures - the atmosphere and use of space, colorful but in a quieter way than say Burridge or Hessam. Drama. I like the way he handles the abstract qualities of the fabrics.