I just love my studio. I love going there and being there and painting there. It is wonderful! I still have a lot of moving in to do. I have a brand new easel in the garage that needs to be assembled. Rick bought it for me from ASW – that is a story that is still developing. It doesn’t have any assembly instructions and it came kind of beat up and shop worn looking. So far they haven’t returned any of his phone calls to their customer service number and haven’t responded to his emails either. I am eager to use the easel – the little light weight aluminum one I am using is OK, but it hops around a bit. Anyway - I toned a bunch of canvasses – so I am ready to go!
I started this today – it’s about 16 x 20 I think. A work in progress about listening to lies, part of the Spiritual Warfare series -
Here’s a bit of a detail - well as much detail as an iPhone will give me. It still has quite a ways to go and who knows how it will evolve.
In my last post I told you I was reorganizing my studio. Well I did - sort of. I am not finished, but I've made a good start. So I thought I would make a little video tour of my studio, which I did. That lead to another whole set of problems. It would not upload to YouTube because my camera shoots in .MOV - or at least that is what I think the reason is. I have a nice Canan Powershot SD780 which is supposed to shoot HD videos, as well as my iphone which shoots videos too, but I never seem to remember that. So I began looking at Flip cameras, which led me to consider the Kodak Zi8. That led me to start looking at bigger, more elaborate camcorders. What should I get? Panasonic at Costco becasue it seems to be a good deal? Canon? Sony? Research - research - research! Frames per second, size, weight, touch screen or not, 1080P or 780P, sound and microphones, flash or hard drive and what kind and how much, battery type and life and on and on. Hours and hours and hours. Maximum confusion! I still don't have an answer, or a camcorder.
I then decided this whole thing was spinning out of control - as is my pattern. A few years back I wanted a Vespa scooter to run to and from work, and do errands. Just a cute, nice, economical little scooter. That spun out of control. I ended up with a Virago 750 - so NOT a scooter! I promptly went out and got in a wreck. Yep - that's what I do. If I want a sheet of paper I am likely to end up with a 50 foot roll of it. I am not sure why I do this - but I am working on it.
So back to the saga. I tried a few free online file converters to no avail, just a lot of time spent (I refuse to think of it as wasted time). Way to complicated, huge learning curve. I went and bought Corel Video Express software to edit and convert from .MOV to .MP4 and it turns out my laptop was too full to install it. Figured that out after about two hours or more of trying, more learning. So I tried to install it on my desk top. It installed great and I thought finally I am on my way. Nope. The video card is too old and not compatible, I need new one. Back to my laptop. I took programs and files off my laptop and burned them to CD's and DVD's - time consuming - and FINALLY got the Corel software installed and the studio tour video converted and uploaded to You Tube.
So here it is - so not worth the effort! But I am putting it here anyway after all of this effort - darn it! I learned a few things in the process:
1. Don't rotate my camera to shoot video. You then have to turn your monitor sideways to watch it - or rotate the video clip in editing...and then it doesn't fit on the screen very nicely. Better to just shoot it right.
2. Video editing seems way more complicated than photo editing.
3. I tend to over do and complicated things - well, I already knew that so I didn't actually learn it - just very much reminded of this tendency, again.
4. I am freaking TIRED of learning curves! I never EVER in my life thought I would get to a point in my life where I would say - I do NOT want to learn anything else - for a while. I need a week or a amonth or something of just vegging out. I live for learning, I eat, drink, dream and breathe learning - but I am just tired and weary of it for a while.
5. The first quarter of 2010 is almost over and I am still at the starting line spinning my wheels.
6. I want a Mac...
As usual - for those of you who get my blog by email - it seems like these videos don't show up, so here is where you can see it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERQZQM4joY0
I guess the answer to that is "Yes." Yes, I do post what I hate.
I got an email from my brother. After seeing the red poppies on my blog, he asked if could I paint sunflowers? I am not sure if he was joking or not, but I replied "of course." Right? Of course I can paint sunflowers.
The more I thought about it, the more I thought -"Fun - that will be fun - I will paint sunflowers." After all. I am in a kind of a flowery mood, spring is arriving, I had a great time with the tulip paintings at Hyatt Moore's workshop, and I had fun with the little red poppy painting- why not? I'll paint sunflowers.
So I found a reference photo and started this in acrylics, trying to stay loose and free. I hated it! I made mud, I made muck, I made mush, I made a mess. The more I tried the worse it got. I made such a mess of it that I decided maybe I could salvage it in oils. So I began working in oils, trying to stay nice and loose and free, thinking whimsical - make it whimsical.
I finally threw my brushes down and went to bed hating! Hating every second of this particular painting session. Bummed becasue I wanted to start posting to my blog every day again and now I was going to miss a day before I had barely even started.
I didn't even want to go in and look at this today. It is still on the easel and still in progress. I don't hate it quite so much today, I think it is salvageable. But it raises questions for me...
I have spent my life striving to paint like people I admire and respect and not painting like me - what ever that is. I want to know what that is. How does one unlearn a lifetime of learning? How do you overwrite all of that programing? And with what? I get tight and realistic when I want to be free and loose and more absract, I hear lots of artists say that, so it is a bit of a universal problem I think. I set out to do a certain thing like to do whimsical, I really want to, but then I don't seem to be able to - is that becasue it's not me? Is it old scripts, old programs running? an old habit? I am not sure. Maybe it's just a bad day? A bad painting session? Maybe I didn't prepare properly? I don't know.
For now I see myself finishing this painting in a more representational style - and then maybe I will tackle it again and see what happens.
One thing I have realized. that in spite of my best efforts to make a comfortable studio space - it is not. not by any means at all. It's nearly unworkable. And that may be a contributing factor, adding to my discomfort, frustration and aggravation. Today I think I will try to do something about my space...again. How I wish I could afford a real studio space, but I am blessed to have what I have - I just need to find a way to make it work better.
Well, I disappointed myself today. I have been working hard at my friends house and have been absolutely bone tired. Progress is being made. Her walls are painted, the floor is in and my handyman has started on the built-ins. There is still quite a bit of trim work and details to take care of, and a lot of organization, but it is shaping up beautifully and I sure appreciate the extra income.It makes me happy to see her so happy with everything too. Today I had the day off and I had planned to spend time in the studio painting. So I wasted some time playing computer games, then went to the studio and there sat a big box in the middle of the room. Oh yeah - I have been so busy and distracted I forgot I even ordered the drying rack that I had been wanting for so long. I spent time assembling the drying rack instead of painting. Technically I worked in the studio, right? But I am bummed I didn't paint. Putting together the rack wasn't difficult - but I have to say that the instructions were among the worst I've ever seen. Very confusing, incomplete and time consuming. I also learned an extremely important lesson - I must remember to put paintings in from the bottom up, as I found out by fooling around with dry paintings that they slide off those racks faster then I can blink if I don't watch it! I have been out of the studio for too long - I felt fear and intimidation hovering around me. That old fear of the blank canvas - Oh no! I will no be having that!
