|Alef and Tav - each are 3" x 3" - acrylic on board|
It is good to get back to creating art. However, after such a long break - it is very difficult. I did not want to try to just jump back into the series I was working on - the momentum isn't there and the feeling isn't right yet.
It is an odd thing actually. There is a great sense of loss and depression, and of being overwhelmed with negativity that comes from taking a break from creativity, or painting. I am sad for the time lost, I am fearful about getting started again. It doesn't make logical sense, it's all illogical, nonsensical and emotional, but pretty real just the same. All of the insecurities that I battle with - (actually most artists I know battle them) - have had time to regroup and build a new giant barrier that once again needs to be beaten down and conquered. It happens often when I take a break, after completing something I am happy with, and sometimes it appears out of nowhere for no apparent reason. I suppose writers might call it writers block or something like that.
Fortunately I have had enough experience with this monstrosity that I know it will pass and I will get my balance back. But it is still an ugly and difficult thing to deal with. I hate it.
On the other hand - I had fun playing in the studio today. And that is what I did - play. It's one of the best weapons against the negative fears, thoughts and feelings. I have also been having a very interesting time learning about Paleo-Hebrew writing and the Hebrew language. So I combined the two.
These two little painting - and they are little, just 3" x 3" are the Alef and the Tav - the first and last letters of the Hebrew alefbet. It's like the Alpha and Omega that you may be more familiar with. More about that as I go. I plan to do the whole alefbet - but I know the holidays are coming up and with that more interuptions.
Taking it a day at a time.
Have you visited me here?